Have you ever had to pop the HIV/AIDS question? I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked about my HIV status, but I can honestly say not enough. My husband and I got tested early in our relationship, it pulled us closer together, and led to freakier sex. Knowing your significant other’s status is comforting, and I swear it automatically makes your organisms 10x better.
The HIV/AIDS Talk isn’t the easiest to have, even if you are negative. When do you ask? Does it kill the mood? How does asking make the other person feel? I mean it isn’t like they have an episode about this on Black-ish. Anthony Anderson hasn’t had us laugh our way through this one just yet. Seriously, everyone talks about knowing your status, but I haven’t seen much information about how to find out someone else’s status. I am certain no one is talking about how you need to check in with your significant other about their status annually.
According to the CDC, “All communities, lack awareness of HIV status, and that contributes to the risk of passing it others.” The truth is black people are affected the most. Heterosexual black men and women are being diagnosed at more than double the rate of our white and Hispanic counter parts. I put the survey out to all of The Kings, and unfortunately, only 12 of them responded. The lack of participation tells me I am not the only one who thinks this is a hard conversation.
We have got to start having the HIV/AIDs conversation with our kids, our friends, and our significant others. 1 in 8 people walks around all willy nilly because they don’t even know that they have been infected. Most of us are willing to listen to our friends spill the tea on personal matters as it relates to their intimate relationships. However, we have got to be ready to remind our loved ones that we need to know what that HIV status do tho.
It isn’t nosey; it is all about protection. As a parent to a teen, I will admit I don’t like talking to my son about sex. My folk didn’t talk to me, but that is why I have to talk to him. I want him to get his facts from real sources. As much as we want our son to practice abstinence, we knew we had to show him where we keep the condoms. Sex is biological and therefore unavoidable, but HIV is preventable. So let’s talk about sex.
Here is what The Kings had to say about the HIV/AIDs Conversation.
100% of the black men I interviewed stated that they are not offended when a potential partner asks them their HIV Status. 91% of them stated that they didn’t mind being the one to do the asking.
When is the best time to ask?
16.67% indicated on the first date
75% said before they have sex
8.33% reported when they decide to be exclusive
How should you ask?
Time and time again the kings said to be straight up.
One King stated, “Without being scared. Both of your lives are at stake.”
Another King said: Just do it. “So, any cooties I should know about?” Mention HPV first if they look puzzled or caught off guard, then work your way up through herpes, hep, syphilis, etc… you can put it all in one sentence if you like.