Have you seen the “Me Too” campaign? The other day, actress Alyssa Milano tweeted, ”If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me Too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.” Not only did victims of sexual harassment and assault post “Me Too” as their status, but they also posted their stories. Some went as far as to name their accused. These statuses flooded the Facebook and Twitter feeds giving life to the statistic 1 in 5 women have been sexually assaulted. While Alyssa’s status spoke directly to Harvey Weinstein’s sexual predation, the “Me Too” Campaign was started by Tara Burke, a black activist whose mission is to unify those who have been victimized by sexual violence. She launched this campaign ten years ago.
“It wasn’t built to be a viral campaign or a hashtag that is here today and forgotten tomorrow,” Tara explained to Ebony Magazine in a recent interview. “It was a catchphrase to be used from survivor to survivor to let folks know that they were not alone and that a movement for radical healing was happening and possible.”
After reading her interview, I thought about my own “Me Too” stories. I thought of being sexually harassed at work by managers and shift leaders as a teenager, the countless men who tried and failed to take advantage of me before I was an even an adult… and the few that slipped through the cracks. I didn’t share any of my stories, but maybe one day. I couldn’t help but wonder what The Kings had to say about this… so I asked them.
DISCLAIMER ABOUT “ME TOO” SURVEY:
The purpose of King’s Speak is to amplify different black male identifying voices. There is no way we will all agree all the time. I certainly don’t agree with all the answers, but I respect the diverse perspectives.
Have you ever been sexually assaulted?
50% said yes
50% said no
Why do think sexual assault and rape is still so prevalent in our society today?
I believe because of misunderstanding and inner view.
10/17/2017 1:27 PM
Because we live in a society where victims are blamed and shamed into silence, even suicide. Cops most of the time don’t believe victims, if a family member assaults you, the family try to hide the dirty secret, it is just difficult for victims to truly have a voice when it comes to being assaulted.
10/17/2017 1:19 PM
Human genes, it’s natural for men or women to have those feelings of lust. Some can just control it better than others.
10/17/2017 11:38 AM
Because men are so prevalent in today’s society. Historically men have envied and subsequently abused women because women possess a power that man can never achieve. This, coupled with gender dynamics and roles as well as a society whose teachings, literature and culture view sex as a commodity, have kept men passing down an ethos of entitlement of ownership from generation to generation. Until the subtleties and the overt expressions of entitlement, sexualization, violence, and woman envy/hatred are stricken from the ubiquitous cultural expressions of art, literature, music, entertainment, and law, it will continue to be handed down, generationally.
10/17/2017 9:18 AM
Lack of education about what is and what is not assault. I think many people were also posting about harassment, so to speak about assault alone only captures part of the conversation. Power is at play here too.
10/17/2017 1:02 AM
Some women are afraid to speak up. Rape is severe trauma.
10/17/2017 12:44 AM
Male privilege
10/17/2017 12:12 AM
Sexual assault is prevalent because we’re an over-specialized culture that is forced to restrict sexual desires at the same time. Also, factor in the media and a lack of parents setting their children straight and you have disastrous results. Yes, sexual assault is about power but to act like it’s not about sexual gratification as well is ridiculous.
10/16/2017 11:39 PM
I would say that victims are more open and forthcoming about what they’ve been through, is so prevalent in our society today. Why? It’s because of a lot of things (racial crimes, discrimination, etc.) now, are being protested and fought against; and sexual assault is something that needs to be protested and fought against.
10/16/2017 10:54 PM
Ignorance
10/16/2017 10:50 PM
People are not telling because the offenders are people with Money, power & influence…
10/16/2017 10:47 PM
Because this society puts too much emphasis on sex. It’s all over the television, social media, and print media. The saturation gives way to a demented mind.
10/16/2017 10:44 PM
How can we make it easier for victims to share their stories?
Create an anonymous social media outlet and have it coded or encrypted to preserve privacy
10/17/2017 1:27 PM
Stop protecting and hide these evil people who assault women, children, and men. Stop blaming and shaming victims, create more spaces for victims to speak out openly.
10/17/2017 1:19 PM
You really can’t, but I don’t think it should take ten or more years to do so.
10/17/2017 11:38 AM
Get back to an ideology where women are considered a treasured resource to be protected, uplifted, and respected. Less focus on blurring of lines between genders and males masquerading as or longing to be women (a la Caitlyn) would be helpful as well, although some societally progressive thinkers will not want to acknowledge this.
10/17/2017 9:18 AM
Give them spaces to share, and collectively in a safe environment. I wished we wouldn’t have lumped the two together. Both are serious, but sexual assault is, in my opinion, more urgent to address.
10/17/2017 1:02 AM
More programs. Education programs for men.
10/17/2017 12:44 AM
opening platforms
10/17/2017 12:12 AM
I think that we need to start educating victims of their rights as well as procedural steps that need to take place that will assure that you will be proven correct. A rape kit immediately needs to be standard operating procedure for all victims. Also, we have phones with recorders and video cameras. We can advocate for ourselves differently. We also need to SHAME and punish people who are not victims that are looking for a payday.
10/16/2017 11:39 PM
Have those that are strong in encouragement and counseling, to let them know that it is okay to let everything out and for them to share their Story of Survival.
10/16/2017 10:54 PM
Personal forum
10/16/2017 10:50 PM
Kill the offenders
10/16/2017 10:47 PM
There need to be support groups that have the victim’s best interests at heart, instead of attempting to exploit their experience for ill-gotten gains.
10/16/2017 10:44 PM
What would you like to say to the victims who have shared their stories via social media?
I’m proud of you.
10/17/2017 1:27 PM
You are brave and never let anyone tell you otherwise, or try to blame you for something that was done to you against your will.
10/17/2017 1:19 PM
I’m proud of you, and you are strong.
10/17/2017 11:38 AM
I am in awe of your bravery and fortitude. I am sorry, and I will try to do more to influence the quelling and expulsion of rape culture when and where ever I see it.
10/17/2017 9:18 AM
There is no monopoly on how to heal – and do what liberates you. We have no jurisdiction to opine, comment, or give input on how you deal with your pain or liberation from trauma or harassment. I will do my job as a man in my circles to own when I see behavior that is supportive of this type of violence to call out.
10/17/2017 1:02 AM
Thank you for your courage. I wish that it was easier for you to come forward. I wish rape victims weren’t stigmatized.
10/17/2017 12:44 AM
It was a bold step to come out.
10/17/2017 12:12 AM
I hope they called the police first and got their rape kit done in advance. Also, Black people need to stop talking about rape culture when it involves Black people but have nothing to say when white people like Weinstein created a real rape culture for decades. Because not only is it irresponsible but it looks like a witch hunt for Black men.
10/16/2017 11:39 PM
If you haven’t sought help or counseling, do so. Also, while doing that and after doing that, walk in the spirit of forgiveness.
10/16/2017 10:54 PM
Peace be still
10/16/2017 10:50 PM
Talk it out and save a life…And kill your rapist or child molester.
10/16/2017 10:47 PM
SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH!
10/16/2017 10:44 PM
What do you think about the Kings responses?
I like your approach to get a variety of thoughts/opinions. As you stated, I too don’t agree with them all but it does give insight into what others think.
I feel so blessed that I have never been sexually assaulted but saddened that so many women on my timeline has had some sort of sexual trauma.
I love that you presented the male perspective regarding sexual assault and the various range of opinions. We have a very sexualized culture and that distorts what is acceptable and not acceptable. Especially when you have some rapists only getting a few months in jail.
I love that you asked men to give their opinions and views on this. I feel like men are often silent when it comes to these topics, so it’s nice to hear what they have to say about it.
I didn’t know this campaign was going on but I do know that sexual assault is a very real issue for a lot of women. With children not reporting I think some of it is them fearing speaking out and some is family shaming where the family doesn’t allow them to speak out or report.
Thank you for this post. Knowing and understanding what mean think on these topics is so critical to resolution. #metoo
GREAT READ! I love seeing the other side! I saw some #metoo people that surprised me and really I just started praying for them! It good to know that men are on our side and see this as a problem too!
I love how you gathered insight from the male perspective. That’s a great way to spark some dialogue. I’m saddened by some of the responses about why it’s still prevelant in our society though. A few people there blamed sh*tty behavior on the media. That’s like saying people murder each other because of what they see on TV. It’s a cop out and a lame excuse no matter if you’re male or female.
Its great to hear the male perspective, but the “me too” campaign was overwhelming for me.
It’s a serious issue that needs to be addressed and not continuously covered up. I’m happy to see it’s being addressed with this campaign. But, there’s a lot more work to be done.
It’s so nice to see the male perspective on this. I haven’t read many articles that include their thoughts or experiences.
I appreciate men that are willing to speak up and speak out in support of women. Me Too is scary and is definitely an eye opener to conversations we need to have with our children both boys and girls.
Thanks for this post. I like the way you shared the survey responses. I’ve seen a ton of “me too” posts over the last week or so. I’ve been shocked and saddened at the same time. I appreciate their bravery and courage to share their experience.
I’m glad that you were able to get some answers from a male perspective. I think its important to include them in the conversation. I’m glad that people are speaking out but saddened that so many women have a story to tell.
Great post! I enjoyed the Kings Speak poll and feel as if the comments made are accurate.
As someone with her own “Me Too” story, I’m proud of the movement. I’m proud of Terry Crews and other men who have spoken out. My hope is that the “Me Too” campaign isn’t just an eye opener about women, but men as well.
A lot of times, we fail to realize that men can experience sexual assault and harassment too. I was just having the conversation with someone the other day, how it’s unacceptable for a man to talk about his experiences in some societies.